All of a sudden everywhere I go I see a lot of these: pants folded to around the ankles, hair shaved off from sides of head giving a 'rushed barbershop visit, insufficient electricity, compromise reached' look, and that one design that's been EVERYWHERE. E. VRY. WHERE. The Burberry Check? If that's what its really called, then that's what I've been seeing all over the world. On dresses, handbags, jackets, wallets, even underwears. Well I've not seen anyone in that kinda underwear but I'm sure if you look through the right places you're bound to find one. Although a quick Google things revealed stuff I never knew people would have the dignity to do. Oh people.

Like suddenly everyone's on some similar frequency, listening to this one fashion adviser, who's probably being paid tons if there was someone behind it all.

This sounds very sinister. Remember the 'faked' moon landings? Look at all the details again, the similarities are rather unnerving...

But instead of worrying about such stuff, I've turned my attention to other things. Things that we'd all probably face in our lives, applicable to nearly everyone. Let me elaborate on one scenario:

You and a coupla friends are at a chalet, a very spooky one at that. Matt this might sound mighty familiar. Anyways there's only a few of you, and the other bungalows (Cranwell bungalows. not too far from Changi Hothpitul) are either unoccupied, or the people inside are making out in the dark.

Then one of your friends gets possessed. He's obviously not 'just drunk' because his face has changed, and he's probably displaying some other inhuman signs. What do you do?

a) Get the *@&# out of there
b) Alert everyone and get the *@&# out of there
c) 'Help' your friend

Let's consider the first two. You scram, then call someone for help. This is how it could sound:
*frantic dialing*
*ringing*
(insert funky M1 dialtone if applicable)
Harrow?
EH HELP ME HELP ME
HUH?
MY FRIEND IS POSSESSED
What the hell are you talking about?
TSK I'matachaletandoneofmyfriendsgotposessedddd
Whoa seriously?
YAHH
HAHA!
EH IDIOT!
Haha what the hell you want me to do! Good luck.
*@&#!!!

Or you could call the police:
Changi Neighbourhood Police Post, what's the situation?
Help me someone's possessed
Where are you sir?
*unimportant details*
Is everyone else alright?
I think so, they just ran out
Ok sir, stay outside and wait for us, we'll be there shortly
You're coming?
Yes sir, we'll send a patrol car over, and our officers will arrest the ghost
Omg rly?
HELL NO, BEACH. *click*

Alright let's be fair, I'm actually very sure the police have got a plan, they'll send men over to assess the situation and do what they can.

BUT there's always a BUT.

I hope you're never confronted with such a situation, especially if you've got loose bowels. In any case, I haven't thought of what to do so I hope you have better luck. If only SALT could do the trick...

HEY MA GHOST FRIEND. I herd yall down there ain't got enuff flava, have somma dis, bitch
*handful of salt goes flying in general direction of supernatural entity*
Aw hell yeah, just the shit I was lookin' for, homie. Great lookin' out dawg catch ya later.
Problem solved, ghost returns to his hood and all is fine and dandy.

I should totally be doing something else now. Later.





Thumbady get me thum wadder

Labels: thoughts