Oh no I'm back to my old cycle... OR AM I. I've been able to wake up early though, I wonder if that counts. No it doesn't, because my inner self insists on no less than eight hours of sleep. I just KNOW it when I've not had enough, and eventually I'd just wanna sleep. I usually don't care if something has to be done, unless its really important or for someone.

Speaking of someones. In my post about Disengaging (TADAAAA) I think I mentioned what should go through your mind when you Disengage. Yeah with a kapital Dee, else it doesn't count. I was reading a book today, by Deepak Chopra, something about Discovering Your Secret Side. Soooomething like that ah. Anyway everytime I hear his name I think of:


Guru Pitka of The Ashram. Seen it? The Love Guru? I liked it, I laughed a lot and imitated him for weeks after watching the damn movie.

So anyway this Deepak fella said something about thinking why you're angry with a person. Only after reading that did I realize I'd been doing that all along, but subconsciously. And its because it was subconscious that it wasn't always effective, and I didn't always employ it. Now that I know, I'll give an example from mine treasure box of experience.

As usual, its a brother who is the Irritator. My brothers are really IRRITATING but I love 'em for it. What would life be without someone teasing and insulting and berating you at all the inappropriate times. No, really, whenever I'm not pissed at them, I'm glad they piss me off. So anyway on to the example:

Brother insults my character, linking it to my 'education' and school. Generalizes and describes how I fit in perfectly to the character of the Pompous, Stuck-up, Irritating Elitist Dipshit. I seethe with anger. Then POOF! I BECOME KOKO KRUNCH!

While Disengaged, I think: Wtf?! He doesn't even KNOW what he's talking about!
Then I think some more: Wait a minute, he's saying this because he is angry, because of something I did or said. So he wants to exact revenge. He KNOWS enough of me, to know that such an insult would surely tick me off. So he employs his creative powers to conjure the most twisted and baseless remarks I wouldn't want to hear. He probably doesn't mean it, but is damn good at acting... as I've done so myself.

In conclusion, whut? Oh I'm back in my body. Reply time! Reply: oh ok. *laughs hysterically* *walks away* Yeah whatever.

Brother is silent for awhile. He'll sometimes try again, or give it up, but that's immaterial.

In other news I've been reading a bit more recently, and I'm disappointed to say I've only found crap. This Deepak Chopra book was intriguing at first, but then he went into all his cosmic bullshit and him knowing everything in this world - secrets and whatnot - and telling me stuff like: Dear rose, it is because of me that you have colour.

WTF?!

By extension, his reasoning does appear sound: Our sense organs detect shizz from the outside world, then sends chemical and electric signals to our body and brain, and the body reacts. The brain processes whatever it is it receives, and translates it into perception. But think about it, 'does a falling tree make a sound when nobody's around?'. That's what it sounds like to me.

And no, its not because of me the rose is red. Red is what we call that particular resultant form of perception. Colours and whatnot are a result of brain activity, which is based on information fed back from the sensory organs. The sensory organs collected that information from somewhere, which means it was already 'red'. To us at least. To an assumed Higher Being with More Than He Needs senses, the rose may not be 'red', instead C9823KJBivWikel. That being didn't make it so, its just how his body translates it. So its not ME who's the 'creator' here. So I guess that means the 'universe is not in me'.

From a religious standpoint: everything is possible only if Allah allows for it. The fact that I can see the rose is a blessing, that He has enabled me to see. That He has enabled me to perceive a colour. I am not part of the equation, really, just a by-product. But that doesn't mean I'm anything less than the flower! What you are in space or time is immaterial; what you are to HIM is what matters. Who cares if you're the centre of the universe or someone who finally understands and embraces the history and future of the cosmos.

There are ways to achieve spiritual harmony, peace and whatnot. But as far as I'm concerned, I have a religion which tells me all I need to know to be happy, so I follow what I'm taught. NOT FOLLOW BLINDLY, because we are required to think and reason.

Then there's this book Existential Phenomenology. I picked it out cos the name sounded complicated and I'd look smart reading it hahahahhaha. Well maybe, come to think of it. Anyway the topics of discourse were of some interest to me, so after perusing several pages, I took it home. Its only when I sat to read that I realized the bullshit was so damn well hidden.

These fellas use complicated words and sentence structures, weird-ass jargon and cleverly masked logical fallacies and assumptions to assert their points. I'm pretty sure there's some real quality stuff in other parts of the book, but really, I'm entirely unsure if I ever want to get back to it.

The funny thing is, while I questioned what I read, I began to doubt myself. I considered discussing my views with someone, but this is what ran through my mind:
No one at home gives a shit about this kinda crap, and they're too busy anyway. It would be impossible to get anyone to sit and read with me, think about it, then critique what I have to say about the book.

But if I turn to my many friends of greater mental calibre, I'm so afraid of being mocked! I'm somehow under the impression that my faculty of reasoning/logic isn't sufficiently fine-tuned to be able to differentiate the Crap Logic from the Mother Complicated Till It Sounds Crap logic. Its how you'd react and think of him when your four year old sibling/cousin/child comes up to you and says he's just figured out how to get a six-pack, by swallowing durian seeds (at one point I was convinced that's how they did it).

Labels: komentatr, sleeping patterns, thoughts