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Slipped For
Saturday, July 24, 2010 at 3:34 AM

Its fricking late and my goal is to sleep by four. Totally impossible, looking at the list of things I have to do:
workout
wash Syafiq's pants cos I'm gonna return em to him tomorrow HI SYAFIQ! FAIYAFAITA'S (SecCom) FOR THE WIN! Hahahh sempat seyy
sort out my laundry
bathe
pray

But we can always dream.

I wanna write this cos I put some thought into it while doing the dishes. Therapeutic, I remember saying that about it once. Hmm... dishes... ahh yes, so very thera-fricking-peutic.

Twas during the dishwashing session that I felt I missed a lot of things from my past. Then I thought about it a bit more...

If I missed them, it'd mean I want em back. Do, experience again, wo'eva. But those are things from the past, and I might not be able to get them back. Then I realized- I'm not supposed to miss them and want them back. Instead they're things that I'm happy happened, so all I gotta do now is look forward to more things. Then by the time I'm 60 I'll have a helluva long list of things I'm glad happened, and I'd still be thinking 'YEAH BABY more things to look forward to'.

SO, my List of Things I'm Glad Happened:
hanging out with the 2nd family
studying with the class guys, almost always end the day off by doing something fun/stupid
lepaking with the mats, in the solat room
and the old RI mat room
soccer on post-Friday-was-a-holiday Saturdays
school functions and carnivals
the stadium steps
RI and RJ gym
gymming with Syafiq Zul and the occasional Arif
cool shit for assembly

K I'm gonna stop there. Time's running out.

In conclusion, I'm happy, I'm sleepy, I insist on doing some shit to my body now cos I wanna growgrowgrow. I think I've forgotten how to feel a lot of things (like feeling full after a meal, tired, you get the picture) but its a new experience so I'm loving it.

I wanna finish my book. It must be finished. Because 30 is too old to get famous. And let's get real, if I don't start doing all the crazy things I think I should be doing, I'll never be where I wanna be till my 40's maybe, latest. But in the meantime, to all my friends who have clearly laid-out and brilliantly decorated paths in life, I am happy for you; may you go as far as you can, and live a life of fulfilment.

I wanna and I did some recordings. I can't bring myself to upload them, no, not with all the conversion and linking and shit I gotta do. F*** that for now. Whups I said the F word. Tis been a long time. I think I'm gonna go back and censor it, so by the time you're reading this you'd be like huh? but now you'd probably be like oh ok I get it. And you should.

Eye realized eye used a lot of eyes in this post. Is that bad? I don't care. No more philosophical shit for now. Duty calls!

Stay healthy happy and harvest your fruits when they are ripe. Have a great many days ahead, it is me here wishing you much peace. With thankfulness I am be taking leave now.





If you seek then go to the Horse people

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Its Been A Weak
Saturday, July 17, 2010 at 1:04 AM

Since I've done this, I think, but it feels like forever. Somewhat. This blogging thing might turn out to be a weekly occurrence, by the look of things I'm inclined to admit that I need it.

Need wo'?

Time by myself. I hate the sound of it, but its what some call 'me time'. I realized (yes, we always realized a lot of things. Funny how many things we will keep realizing...) that I truly feel me-ed only after a certain duration of solitude.

I want time to sit and think and write, and listen to songs to sing along, and maybe compose one myself. I've put so many things on hold because of NS, and I would very much like to resume where I left off, as soon as possible. Leaving it all to when I pass out is just too far away. We're still young, let's do something great so it'll be extra amazing! You might probably achieve something totally awesome later on in life, but if you do it then it'll be less amazing than if you do it now. I guess there are tons of twentyplus to thirtyplus year-olds who do great things; a nineteen year old will be better received. He will then proceed to sign the autographs of potential entourage members, followed by a tea session at some fancy place.

Did I tell you, my eyes are feeling weirdish? No? Well I just did, now, didn't I? Funny...

I just listened to Katherine McPhee's Home, and I was kinda blown away by the lyrics, again. The first time I heard the song I could make out most of the words, but to read the lyrics while the song's playing is a whole new thing for me. Its 2.5 times better than ganja. THAT I'm sure of.

I think I'm losing it, my blogging style thing. I kinda feel dried out and empty as I write this, like I've got nothing good to offer you hahaha. I'm happy you're still reading because believe it or not I can see you. And I like to watch people reading my blog, its so inexplicably gratifying.

I shouldn't keep this up. Instead! I will open a blank word document, and start writing. Because THAT. Is what blank word documents are for.

So who stole the cookie from the cookie jar, you might ask? Its me... I frickin' stole it, so stop accusing everyone else who me yes you couldn't be yes me ITS ME.

KEEP HEALTHY STAY ALIVE EXERCISE AND AMALKAN HEAVY MIRROR STARING YOU'RE ALL AMAZING PEOPLE LET'S KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK!!! WOOOOOOOO- HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!





No plains no grains

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Night spies and shooting far
Sunday, July 11, 2010 at 1:11 AM

When I see women, I realize I want to respect them. I want to be able to look at them and say This person is great because ___. I'll admit it's not easy to be a woman, and it's quite a feat so many of them pull off everyday. Yes it's nice to see a pretty lady with a nice figure, but there's a limit that is often crossed, and easily as well. When a girl dresses up to SHOW her flesh, then she's reducing herself to an object. A canvas showcase for despo guys to stare at and analyze and take in the details. To savour.

And when guys stare at girls like they're display shelves (link: rack. Haha...) then they ought to be ashamed of themselves. Whether or not someone 'asks for it' you're not the one who decides if they should get it. You could make it a two way thing, animal to animal, basic instincts, lust and whatever shit. But it's disgusting all the same.

I hope I'm making sense because of all times, I've chosen now to blog. Now when my eyes are heavy my thoughts are swimming and my fingers are unnaturally accurate on the iPoop onscreen keypad. Buuuut I might not get another chance. So there you go.

By the way, I like you and I need you. If it isn't too much to ask, I wanna spend every waking and unawake second in your presence.





Schleep is like A to Zzz

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Need Schleep
Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 7:36 PM

Its like I can only sleep for short bursts. Total KO then total cannot sleep.

Anyway. Again today I found out something that made me really really thankful for the people in my life. I'm very grateful for the fact that there are so many people behind me, supporting and praying for me even when I don't know. Alhamdulillah. I pray that in the future I can become more than the person they want me to be, so that I can give them more than they have given me, and also to those who need but have no one to provide.

I always get mixed feelings approaching book-in, like a mini emotional mess-thing inside; sometimes its dread, cos I think training is gonna be rabak. I wonder if I can take it, if they'll treat us like shit for no reason. Sometimes I think back to the heat of the bunker gear, to being completely wet inside, hot everywhere, breathing hard, wanting to relax. But it doesn't always come, that relaxation, and we've got to get moving again, and move fast at that. Its a lot to take but it can be taken.

Then suddenly I'm very happy cos I look forward to seeing my friends again. Once more, I'm thankful that God has given me friends whom I know I can trust, and who'll stand by me even though we've only known each other for such a short period.

Logically speaking then, things can work out well, I just gotta keep strong. So that's just it; keep strong and block out everything that's negative.

But above it all, I just can't fight this tiredness. I've only had five hours of sleep and I'm in desperate need for more. Ok tonight.

In more exciting news, I earned $2 from my dad for a stupid dare. You wanna know the story? Ok I'll tell you.

Some other time. Heheh. I'm sorry but circumstances allow for only that. Circumferences.

OH and I realized how much I love Wizards of Waverly Place (frickin' awesome scripting and cast and EVERYTHING). And I kinda miss Drake and Josh, but they keep repeating episodes anyway boooooo.

So its gonna be a good week ahead. HTA AFTER THAT! OH YA! HTA! HELLO ALL MY FRIENDS AT HTA! I'm super excited to meet yall, I hope you will accept me with open arms hahaha. Righto, post end.

I think I haven't said this in some time: (shit I forgot how it goes) uh something like... keep fit stay sharp be happy? Oh whatever. That's fine anyway. I also forgot to do my one line of supercool smartsaying geniusohwow at the end of the post, for three posts in a row. I'll leave 'em, despite my OCD. So this post will have that one line after a few spaces thing, albeit not in the usual format. But it all goes cos this is my world and I'm king and I welcome you because more than me is compuhnee. Though I also like talking to myse- ok I vill nawt get carried away. Stay awesome, people.





Hello you. I can't wait to hear your voice again, I can never get enough of it.

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Hose Laying
Friday, July 2, 2010 at 10:32 PM

Hoes laying.

Kk nvm.

FAAAHNELLEH after a long of a million years I be back here wit a thing to be a post fwoh mah blog. Hello.

Foist I wanna talk about an ass, cos its a super relevant thing in my life. Like five days a week. Hah. The thing about NS, to me, is that its damn interesting. 'Why' you may ask. Ok I will tell you 'Why?'.

I meet lotsa ppl with hella interesting names. Long names short names, usually-used-as-adjectives names, super nice names, and no names. Serious sia some people got no name so its just a blank piece of cloth for their name tag, and we call them things like 'eh' or 'sial' or 'eh sial'. Ok no I was kidding on that last count. Maybe I should stop kidding around so much, especially since I'm gonna be a RANDYQUENCHVOLUNTEER

FAIYAFAITA

one day. Maybe a section commander, hopefully a rota commander. Nvm we'll leave the science out for now.


Then there's authority. I find there's two types.
Type one: the leaders you listen to because you have respect for them, and you trust their orders.
Type two: the leaders you listen to cos you just. Haven't. Reached. That. Rank. Period.

Type two leaders are bastards so if you ever get the opportunity to rembat their face while camp rules do not apply, then please rembat their face while camp rules do not apply. Well since we all know that's not gonna happen, let's just drop the idea altogether. And instead resort to:

Smile forever and never break. The trick is to be so kilat that they can't punish you anymore.

'YOU! Half right change! (i.e. push up position. But they like it when we do it 45 degrees to the left. Something to do with our asses I think... Nevermind.)"

*you half right change*

'Do you know why I'm punish- *ahem* training you?'

'No, *insert rank here*!'

'Its because *insert stupid reason here*'

'Oh.'

'Carry on twenty'

'NO THAT'S NOT ENOUGH MAKE IT HUNDRED, IS THAT ALL YOU GOT!'

Then immediately proceed to do 110-150 pushups, counting loudly for every repetition. Then ask for permission to recover, and when you are given it, proceed to do another 50. Then really recover, and smile. It might help if you softly say 'Eeeee' as you smile; adds to the effect.

Gosh I miss blogging, its so lubricat- LIBERATING. I've not typed like this in so long, it feels brand new. BUT IT ISN'T HAH! Dun dun dunnnnn.

And for the record, I'm damn proud to be in the Civil Defence. Its real shit we're learning, learning to do, and gonna do. The threat's real as hell, and dangerous as hell. But the fire not hot as hell ah. Because like, the um, well... you know the... uh... ok.

To me: its super cool to be in our long four, fire boots, bunker gear, fire gloves, breathing apparatus, fire helmet. Seriously damn cool siak I wanna take photos, just haven't had the chance. And its cool how we're all acclimatizing now, when (edit:)there was once awhile ago stengah orang nak mampos, and some others tak sangka boleh hidup lepas tu. It was kinda exciting but a lil nervousing and a tad scary when I first did drills in full don (minus breathing apparatus). I just wish people could see us in training, cos honestly I think we look damn cool heheh. From this morning otw to lessons, to BTM, to whatever the heck we're gonna do next.

I'm not gonna attempt to talk anymore about training cos its too hard. I get too emotional. Oh look, I've shed a tear. Oh one mo- ok my eyes are tearing nonstop, big hot tears.

Ok I kid.

Its just that I'm sleepy and still a little hungry, I need my hot shower and to put on a shirt, and my fingers are getting a little tired. In short, though, NS is getting fricking fun and, again, I'm super proud of where I am. You probably won't know how its like till you do it, experience the things we gotta do.

To all firefighters, medics, and anyone in the life-saving and defence line: respect, like never before. K phonecall bye.

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