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Multiflasking at its Best
Friday, February 26, 2010 at 2:13 AM

I wonder if this animated GIF will animate.
I lost the source, sorry creator.


Started: 02:13
Page check: 28
I was, and still am, photocopying a mother long document. 45 pages mother long, and only just decided to write while photkoping. Social experiment on my favourite society, me.

Today is some kind of insect day. At the mosque, a wild beetle too happy to be free, flew around in its ecstasy, colliding with a man before falling off dizzy. Man beside him then casually proceeded to pick up beetle and dispose (read fling lightly) outside of mosque (read a few metres away because the iktikaf area starts near the entrance. We were at the iktikaf area).

And while praying this beetle, once again consumed in joy, decided to go a-flying again. Initially I thought it was a cockroach, which would have added 2000 freak points. And in my prayer this beetle crashed yet again, this time into the ceiling (wow...) and fell into an inverted flatspin. Not that I saw, I'm just... dramaticizing. It tried to regain control! Frontal thrusters engage! But crashed into my shoulder and dropped away. I got a shocked and thankfully just shook like WHOA kinda shook, but nothing serious. I thought the beetle was gone.

Until.

Five minutes after prayer I'm sitting and feel something on my toe. Wee bit early to cramp, eh? Proceed to massage foot then... massage... massage... ouch! Something sharp. My pants? Nah my pants aren't sharp? Ouch! There it is again! So I looked at my pants, and found the beetle clinging on for dear life, just above the back of my knee. It was yay high- 7cm - and black and clingy. Whhuuuuuut. So I tried dusting it off, but it was very clingy. So I had to, uh, touch it. Yech. And peel it off my pants and it flew away. Two feet away, and sat there forever till a pakcik carried it away on his way out.

I will know assume the pakcik's position:

Yay selawat, selawaaaat, selawaaat. Alamak... macam haus ah (like thirsty ah. hahahahah). Ok there's water outside, best I venture forth to nourish mine thirsty throat.
Up you go, ah yes. K let's walk out now. Ladee daa, selawating people everywhere, ladee- eh! What's this! A beetle, on the floor! Kiamun, thn ooyl bring yeh ba' teh where yeh suppos' teh bee, thn.

Page check: 29. Great.
Time check: 02:24. Greater. K more photaaakeping less writing.



Two Face by Ibrahim Naim via Flow Graphic

Oh in my boredom I also wrote something of a rap. I wanted it to be a rap and it sounded like a rap in my mind till I got past the first sentence. Then the rhythm kept changing, the best and the tune, and I lost it all. You can find it here and while it may not be of good reading value, I wish it would at least NOT cause you any pain or harm. Please, laugh if you must, I like making people happy.

BACK TO WHY ITS INSECT DAY!

Came home and just after passing the staircase I noticed this huge ass praying mantis sitting atop. Araknow what it was doing. Can't possibly be praying, it was- oh wow it WAS facing the kiblat hahahhaha. Anyway mraying pantises I MEAN praying mantises are creepy. Then at home I found out that another huge ass praying mantis had showed up in the study room and freaked my brother out. My father apparently flung it out the balcony window... which is at the extreme opposite end of the main door (where you'll find the staircase).

So, all detective sounding (hardly move your jaw while reading this, muffle everything and put on your best wise-ass accent), there's either two praying mantises or the former found a way to somehow make its way around the building, and wait at the staircase. Assuming the first case, it really is insect day. Assuming the second, this mantis is stalking you. Either way, its creepy.

So for awhile, and now again, cos I'm recollecting everything, I was very. Very. Very. Cautious about my life. I walked into the study room and clicked on the light then SUDDENLY REMEMBERED and jumped back out. I scanned the entire entrance for signs of Mr Mantis, before giving up and not going into the study room at all. Now I'm afraid to do life-essential things like walk, sleep, sit, you name it. I'm really afraid it might show up somewhere.

We ALL know how deadly insects are. If they don't gorge your eyes out or sting you to death they'll just infiltrate your head via your ears or mouth, and you're a goner.

Dear God, I beg of you. Please protect us from this praying mantis. Please don't let any mantis come near or into our house again.

That's enough of talk I'm freaking myself out more.

Time check: 02:34
Page check: 34. Ok not bad I'm done writing anyway.
Tissue check: 94,326 pieces used. 7 cm mountain beside left hand.

Something went wrong somewhere, my body started behaving all cold-like at 2 am last night. Still is symptompshy but its dealwithable.

Finished: 02:54
Page check: 38, run out of paper hahahhahah. More tomorrow.

Its okay to cry. But what are you crying for? Plain emotional responses to stimuli are hardly worth any credit or effort. That's what all of that has taught me. And all the guys in that situation will agree its the most macho thing to do. Don't understand? Think about it more, maybe connect a few dots. And while you're at it, remember to live beautifully and with respect.





I still look my best behind a pillar

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Twelve
Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 1:10 AM

Yesterday yesterday (cos its after midnight I just realized.) I gymmed with Zul at Jurong Jim. You can also call it Jurong Gym or Gurong Jym, it doesn't really matter, people will understand you have something wrong somewhere. Not too long ago Zul was Monster and now he's Double Monster. I need to learn more words because at this point I can only go as far as Quadruple, and the future holds monsters of much greater proportions.

In other news I've finally run out of protein, and I'm taking it real badly. This morning I woke up and had nothing to look forward to. If I were any less manly and any more emotional, I woulda just sat there and cried. Protein was so dear to me... almost like a person really. Now that its gone I'm left alone. So I gotta go get more protein, thimple. Where, Paya Lebar right? Jauh siul. But what IS distance. Distance is in the mind, and I've lost my mind, so technically it doesn't matter how far I go. So long I don't stop. Never give up, put your hands high and reach the top.

S Club 7 is seriously SCARY.

Results next week.

OOH.

Good luck with that everyone, and remember I won't judge you for your results. I've never judged people based on their results, but sometimes I get so afraid thinking of it because no matter how much I might do something, it cannot guarantee that people will treat me the same.

In short, some people might judge me by my results. Consciously or not. I thought of defending myself, but nah. Its entirely my problem and my life, and if you don't have the mental capacity to look beyond grades then maybe you're just not someone I'd like to hang out with.

Which further means that I don't care what you think.

But I should filter everything to the basics, I got lost somewhere up there.

I hope everyone gets what they've been hoping for. I'll accept what I get and move on. Regardless, I can tell some of you are predestined to be big in this world, some already on their way. I'm looking forward to working with you to make this world better for everyone.

But now, I think I should sleep. Then comes the question of where. My bed's too crampy I roll about the whole place. I'll think and tweet my decision so the whole world will know where I wanna sleep, because everybody gives two shits.

Who am I kidding I don't even know how to tweet. Its bullsheet if I can be honest. Think positive to live positive!





I look my best behind a pillar

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Marina's Baggage
Sunday, February 21, 2010 at 4:39 PM

This amused me to the point of a barely audible semi-chuckle.


Ah shit I think I forgot how to start blog posts.

Remember Mr Jonathan Mead? I've mentioned him, the guy says get paid to exist, and many other fantastic things. Well I began thinking about what he said, that you can make an income out of something you enjoy doing if you're passionate and positively obsessed with it. Famous people in every field are in fact obsessed with their work, and that's how they get good at it. But I guess not everyone has the drive to do that with their passion, or not everyone wants to be great. I think some people are really just happy with mediocrity, but there's nothing wrong with that. If everyone was the same we'd have a lot of problems.

Which is what I want to explore by myself now. The concept of people relations and how we have shaped this world. Very briefly, it seems that there are countless hidden forces running our world, that the Good Guy has a hard time and being a bastard is the best way to get what you want in life. I don't buy any of these theories, so I wanna sit and think and write, and figure out why some people have come to that conclusion, and why they're wrong. Then maybe I'll increase my chances of ruling the world.

About ruling the world.

I don't have to be like a king on a throne, heck I don't even like that. It could be something more subtle. Like what I told Fads and Filzah (and Fads doesn't believe I'm super Awesome), you could probably pick out a random person and he'd know me, and have good things to say about me. Like an open secret? Fawaz is the open secret? I dunno, but its something I could settle for.

Oops I took a game break.

I'm 'wasting time' as people might put it, but hey, how the hell am I supposed to sign up with a tuition agency when they ask for all my grades. All my crap grades hahahhahah. So I've decided to forget the whole signup thing and instead get what I can once I'm done... wasting time. Maybe next time parents should tell their kids to 'study hard else when you are waiting for your results, you might not be able to pursue a career in the academic field'. Huh yeah big deal WOOOOOO~

Aaaanyway I wanna commend all my friends (and people who know me but have forgotten me or refuse to acknowledge my existence for some reason) who are out their doing great things with their lives. Some people are already making a difference in this world, some are 'protecting us while we sleep' (HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA) and others are being plain useful. Honestly, good on you.

And since too many people have issues with my current display picture, I've changed it. Also cos I'm sick of that ol' picture, which I put some effort into by the way. To those who told me its cool... thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Every night when I'm alone and crying in my quiet corner, I remember that out there are people who truly understand and care for me. Its all you people who give me the strength to carry on every day. I could go on but I'm crying again so its hard to type.

Yeah. Right.

Anyway, in the spirit of Homelessness:



There's an IDIOT in our block. I really really wonder who that IDIOT is.

[01/10/11 EDIT: Removed two photos of Syafiq Lim, Arif Borhan and myself]

These were from some time back, when someone had tangible amounts of hair, someone else was high on some chemical compound, and someone was actually working.

[01/10/11 EDIT: Removed photo of Syafiq Lim attempting to eat Arif's head]

Syafiq if I'm not mistaken you now have to take a photo of yourself eating Arif's bald head.
FIREMEN FOR THE WIND!

Which reminds me I'm hungry bye.





I look best behind a pillar

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In Need of Overcompensation
Thursday, February 18, 2010 at 9:51 AM

I discovered this artist by chance, its her tutorials I've been referring to to complete my, uh, painting. What I initially planned to be a morbid retouching of a photo is now becoming something else, definitely not me anymore, because I just found how fun it is to paint in Photoshop. Here's some of her artpieces that I really liked. We'll start with something... subtle.



If you head over to her site, you can see her other works as well as closeup shots of this piece. Then you'll see the details in the reflection, her dress, and her dismal face.


I like this one so much because it represents what I've always envisioned as the perfect portrait, that balances between realism and a touch of fantasy. You can tell its a painting, sure, but its so real it might probably be based on someone. I never knew what it took to draw nice, textured and lively lips. Then I discovered how to give eyes shape, then working with skin colours and whatnot. And here everything is so effortlessly orchestrated. For the record, killer lips I say.

I hope that gave you a shock, I really do.

I'm gonna get back to my life now, its so happening I can't sleep HAH. Wow. Someone please give me a slap, I think I need one. Or maybe you can spar with me, I so wanna spar. Then after that I will go into my three part apology hahahhaha. Only the privileged will know where that's from.

Life's too short to exist go out and get noticed.





We tore its whole face off, see

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Periment
Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 3:42 AM

There's a periment on my tumblr, and its there not here for a reason. If only I read and type faster. I SO need to sleep.

I'll tell you (oh mysseteriouss faceless, quiet reader) about my very own episode of 24 and the 3 hours of blissful sleep that accompanied... soon. Oh wow too many spoilers.

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Look at Four Asses
Sunday, February 14, 2010 at 5:19 AM

I was up to some nonsense on Photoshop again, the kinda nonsense that both creeps out and angers my mom, because she doesn't understand why I have to 'do all this nonsense to my face'.

So anyway this year's theme (hahahhahaha) is evil demon wizard dark lord semi mutated boy. Yeah still a boy, not yet a woman

WHAT?!

Still a boy, but also a man, every bit Fawaz.

This was midway through the thing, with me trying out different highlight methods. I'd airbrushed my face a lot (Ame does that make it very gay) because I imported Lord Voldy's nose - or whatever's left of it - and so had to reshade recolour re everything my whole face.

Plus I really thought the dodge tool could help me out, then I suddenly remembered this other technique where you add the shading in lines, then smudge them. But I had this anyway:

[01/10/11 EDIT: Removed the picture of my nose-removed face lol]

Nothing much to look at, I wish the photo was at a higher resolution so I wouldn't have to blur out all the added details. Like the eyes, how I SO wanna get red, and white, and whitewithaholeinthemiddlesoyouonlyseeonesmallblackdotforaneye contacts, I might just push my luck next time.

After fiddling around I realized it was a complete waste of time to import Voldy's slits cos they're really just that, slits. I can draw them in myself and save me a lot of work. But since you learn something everyday, I tried to make my skin look less tampered, and got meself a skin-textured brush set by KeepWaiting. But a small mistake led to a 'ooh what does this button do' moment, and then I got this:

[01/10/11 EDIT: Removed the picture of my nose-removed plus two-face face lol]

It looked more skin-diseasy before I darkened the whole thing and tried to step TwoFace. It was horrible, and twas such a deviation from what I had in mind, I decided to get back to basics. So I grew a beard.
I wish I could grow such a beard at this time, I so wanna look like a caveman. But just when I hope my Indian genes will kick in, they decide to slack. How Indian. I guess when I really get my awesome bearded face I'll post it all over the net, it'd be such a happy day.

I guess this means I'm gonna redo the whole face project. Wow there's so much you can do in life. Speaking of which, I'm really surprised (and very glad) no neighbours have shown up at my doorstep, fuming and trying to look angry but of course they can't cos so many Singaporeans look dumb as hell when they try to show some red. I scream my ass off so much in the bathroom, and even at those volumes and notes I'm holding back. I'm just too afraid to let it all out, Lambert style, mouth wide open tongue hanging out. The sound reverberates so much in the bathroom I might just cause a tear in the temporal flux of the interdimensional lobe.

I forgot to credit the artist of the fantastic cloud background in the Herbal Essence Thing photoshopped... thing. Hear ye hear ye, let it be known at this time that said picture was created by Dennern of DeviantArt. Fashion it out of pixels did he, and christened it Skywards.

My eyes are starting to kinda hurt, should we stop?

HELL NO!

The pain is still young, there is much to be gained.

Be happy and adventurous and get smarter, and always be kind.





Oh the way I make me feel

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Wrong CD
Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 11:42 PM

Today I finally got my ME WONTS ME MUNEY BAKK! shampoo after eons of procrastination, and patiently waiting out the old bottle of shampoo... which miraculously refilled itself, after I thought it was rapidly depleting.


(that's noob photoshopping within ten minutes, I guess everyone's gotta start somewhere)


BUT NOW!

I don't want me money back, I wanna keep the damn shampoo, I LOVE it! Its the red one, can't be bothered to recall the name, plus the conditioner (read the back, I laughed in the shower), makes for one happy shower experience. Though I smell like a girl now. Come to think of it, I've not intentionally used too many MASCULINE-scented cleansing mixes, so I guess the girl smell thing isn't new. But this smell is different, its really nice. Oh no what if I turn myself on.

BUT I ALREADY DO.

HAH.

You just wanna throw up now, doncha. Go on, let it aaaallll out. Yeah that's it, nice and retchy. Speaking of which, I listened to every track of Adam's new album, countless times today. I quite liked some of 'em, and a few were very Britney sounding. And gay. Though there's nothing wrong with that, nuh-uh.

This is how the album looks like, in case you've been living under some unfortunate rock somewhere:


Kinda hawt, doncha think. Makes me feel all gay n stuff. Though I'll never wanna bang another guy. You see I've always wanted to ba yeah I know you're squirming, at least mentally, so I'll stop hahahhaha.

But you can still puke, right. I mean, you may not have puked the first time round.

Shall we give it another shot then?

No?

What, really?

Well I don't really give a shit, so amma do what I wanna do. And that's show you these, which you might have seen before. I just couldn't stop laughing:


And while you're wasting time, check this out. That Alex dude is truly awesome.

And I have a confession to make. I lied. I didn't 'couldn't stop laughing'. I actually just laughed here and there, and that's it. Most of my laughter is done when I'm alone anyway hahahahhaha.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Today when I was out I forgot I had a moustache. I realized you may behave differently based on how you think you look. Once I realized I had a moustache and a messy goatee, my face must have changed somehow. Deep inside, I knew I just couldn't pull of the 'freshly shaved hairless git' look. More about this later.

Later.





Hello I've come to inconvenience you, that ok?

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Bus Number Ate My Sic
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 3:13 AM

In the bus after maghrib, helluva lotta foreign workers boarded the bus a few stops after I did. I'm talking HUGE numbers of foreigners here, but the strange thing is I actually liked it. They comprised Chinese, Bangladeshi and a handful of Indian workers, and what I liked about them was their cheerful air. All their eyes were open, and even if you could see they were tired, they just burst with some form of optimism. Some of them were talking at the back, in China style Chinese, but even though it was loud I didn't even mentally protest cos it was such a departure from the usual Singaporean blabber.

I thought about it a bit more, and I realized these people always look more energetic and happy. I reckon a tourist would never behave like an idiotic, drab-faced moron (you wouldn't now, would you?), but even those who've been here for some time (I met a few, even spoke to them) retain that favourible 'tourist air'. WOI SINGAPOREANS. LEARN FROM THEM. The good things, that is.

AGAIN! TODAY! WAS WEIRD ASS SLEEPING!
I slept before 1230 last night and awoke at THREE TODAY.

THREE.

I know it really rhymes with free but WHAT. THE. HECK. THREE?! That's a lot of sleep, maybe in excess, I hope I can donate some of it to the sleep-deprived. But as I sleep it hurt, and the more I slept the more it hurt, but every time I woke up to toss and turn I told myself I could sleep it away.

Why sleep, why have you been so unfriendly to me, I've always had a special place for you in my heart. I'm going to meet you again, please treat me better .*muacks*





Occasionally, the WP and TMBLR come to life

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Dip
Sunday, February 7, 2010 at 10:16 PM

I'm like a damn cat. I only remember sleeping and my mom had to scream and pinch me to get me out of bed... To go for lunch. There was no breakfast, I'm quite low maintenance right hahaha.

I reread yesterday's post and melanguage vos orrible. Nehmind sleepndeprivafion taking blame as we speak.

I love my new bright reds they're so... Dip.



I'll take em off, I'll take em ALL off

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Fluther

Reading lead to more reading and to this. Some girl got overzealous with a Haiti fundraiser, and now she's screwed. I started reading all the comments, and boy are there hilarious people all over the world hahahhaha.

Comments turned into an argument of whose side is better, (naturally...), and then came quote of the day:
This is obviously a Lovey/Haiti relationship

Words cannot describe the amusement I got from that site, so I won't describe. Simple, eh?
If you want to, NOTCOT.

Today I experienced the weirdest sleep patterns. At at 715 I went back to sleep, after morning prayers, on the floor where I slept. At 8 I woke and completely lost my bearings, then decided to get back to my bed because the floor was cold...ha. At 1 I woke up and bummed around a bit, then went back to sleep at 230. Woke again at 645, now I'm about to sleep by 330. This is so exciting and so NOT good. I wanted to, and shoulda slept earlier, but time *feels* like its flying when you're engrossed in something.

Does that mean I read slow?

Or that I read a lot?

Or is time really flying. We couldn't possibly verify with anyone, cos everyone's time must've been flying too when my time decided to fly. Since we all share the same time-supply, I shouldn't be selfish and make time fly whenever I want. Because in the end I'm so damn important that everyone else depends on me. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

I think all this points a crooked finger in one direction only: the bed. Which signifies sleep, which is what I'm primarily concerned with because honestly I don't intend on sleeping on the bed today. Someone pointed out that bed actually looks like a bed hahahha.





Freund oder pass-out

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Wamphyrii
Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 10:57 PM

All of a sudden everywhere I go I see a lot of these: pants folded to around the ankles, hair shaved off from sides of head giving a 'rushed barbershop visit, insufficient electricity, compromise reached' look, and that one design that's been EVERYWHERE. E. VRY. WHERE. The Burberry Check? If that's what its really called, then that's what I've been seeing all over the world. On dresses, handbags, jackets, wallets, even underwears. Well I've not seen anyone in that kinda underwear but I'm sure if you look through the right places you're bound to find one. Although a quick Google things revealed stuff I never knew people would have the dignity to do. Oh people.

Like suddenly everyone's on some similar frequency, listening to this one fashion adviser, who's probably being paid tons if there was someone behind it all.

This sounds very sinister. Remember the 'faked' moon landings? Look at all the details again, the similarities are rather unnerving...

But instead of worrying about such stuff, I've turned my attention to other things. Things that we'd all probably face in our lives, applicable to nearly everyone. Let me elaborate on one scenario:

You and a coupla friends are at a chalet, a very spooky one at that. Matt this might sound mighty familiar. Anyways there's only a few of you, and the other bungalows (Cranwell bungalows. not too far from Changi Hothpitul) are either unoccupied, or the people inside are making out in the dark.

Then one of your friends gets possessed. He's obviously not 'just drunk' because his face has changed, and he's probably displaying some other inhuman signs. What do you do?

a) Get the *@&# out of there
b) Alert everyone and get the *@&# out of there
c) 'Help' your friend

Let's consider the first two. You scram, then call someone for help. This is how it could sound:
*frantic dialing*
*ringing*
(insert funky M1 dialtone if applicable)
Harrow?
EH HELP ME HELP ME
HUH?
MY FRIEND IS POSSESSED
What the hell are you talking about?
TSK I'matachaletandoneofmyfriendsgotposessedddd
Whoa seriously?
YAHH
HAHA!
EH IDIOT!
Haha what the hell you want me to do! Good luck.
*@&#!!!

Or you could call the police:
Changi Neighbourhood Police Post, what's the situation?
Help me someone's possessed
Where are you sir?
*unimportant details*
Is everyone else alright?
I think so, they just ran out
Ok sir, stay outside and wait for us, we'll be there shortly
You're coming?
Yes sir, we'll send a patrol car over, and our officers will arrest the ghost
Omg rly?
HELL NO, BEACH. *click*

Alright let's be fair, I'm actually very sure the police have got a plan, they'll send men over to assess the situation and do what they can.

BUT there's always a BUT.

I hope you're never confronted with such a situation, especially if you've got loose bowels. In any case, I haven't thought of what to do so I hope you have better luck. If only SALT could do the trick...

HEY MA GHOST FRIEND. I herd yall down there ain't got enuff flava, have somma dis, bitch
*handful of salt goes flying in general direction of supernatural entity*
Aw hell yeah, just the shit I was lookin' for, homie. Great lookin' out dawg catch ya later.
Problem solved, ghost returns to his hood and all is fine and dandy.

I should totally be doing something else now. Later.





Thumbady get me thum wadder

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profyl

Personal person to myself



this! is!
thimple to use

plural person
klikkthelinkths



therealshard on wp
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therealshard on purevolume
therealshard on deviantArt
therealshard is everywhere
therealshard is out there
so are all the answers

aintshent history
older than my ancestors

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credits
(i don't know these people)

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