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A Revisited Port al-Me
Sunday, May 29, 2011 at 12:30 AM

My old blog had 339 posts?!
What the hell?!

I'm still stuck at the 70-ish mark for this one! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Twas good to see my friends again, though on hindsight I wish we had more time and funner things to do UNLIKE THE FRICKING RG DRAMA. Which was good only cos it provided so many opportunities for humorous commentary. At least it didn't last too long. Haha am I glad it only lasted around 40 mins? But that 7 bucks could've gone towards a movie or sth. Ah well 7 bucks. I'm coming back next year and if the drama's shitty again, which it shouldn't be, cos its RG DRAMA, then I'll probably burn the school down or something.

Their male toilet made me laugh. The bowls were small, but ain't nothing wrong with that. Small toilet bowls make me laugh. Its cool they had urinals inside, though personally I find those things severely repulsive; I'd expected a unisex toilet, so I'd say I was pleasantly surprised.

Ok unnecessary MOVING ON

I picked out a book the other day, Friday, Journey Into Space by Toby Litt. Somehow all these space-themed books I pick out have plot similarities; and somewhere in the middle there's always talk about sex. Is it just my subconscious silently scanning the books and then telling me to pick em or is this whole sex thing a part of the genre. Like how morality and ethics are hard to avoid in such thingies. Ah whatever they're good stories so I won't think too much. I feel half like shit now anyways so that's enough reason for me to MOVE ON

I read about a new update that'll finally make my Windows Phone the awesome thing it should've been a long time ago. Come on Microsoft I had faith in you and so got that phone, make this work.

Although in a perfect world I'd also have an iPhone 4 just cos its sexy and for all its app and hacking goodness.

I can't wait for my back to fully heal, then I can slowly start training again and get that bigger body I want. I don't know if I'm small, if I look small, if I don't look strong, or if it depends on what I wear, or what. Now I don't even know if I have a nice body or if I'm lean or just skinny or if I never had much muscle to begin with and it never really grew much. I don't know all this anymore. Heck I didn't know some parts to begin with, but now everything's a total blank. I do know my strength has increased thanks to my workout logs, but even then I can't be sure for all the exercises cos of stoopid equipment or whatever.

This has been very frustrating indeed, and I don't see an end to it any time soon. I guess I'll just have to wait and work and take what I get. I'll figure out how to deal with this.

When I think back I realize I've always wanted to be a male Lady GaGa, in terms of her craziness and out of this world style, but things that have held me back are:
- What would my parents think/feel if they see me like this (eg. with lots of eyeliner maybe, black lipstick? sometimes. funky hairstyles every few months. whatever.)
- Can I walk into a mosque dressed like this (that means no shorts, no faces/cukup sifat pictures of animals, lines on my face, half a head of hair, or lots and lots of accessories, or no teeth, or whatever)
-If I'm ugly enough as it is, won't people die or laugh hard if they see me like that? Step konon
-Is this REEEEAAAALLLLLYYYY who I want to be

After a bit of thinking I dropped the idea - hey this part should be on my other blog, fawazstudy.wordpress, where I dissect my mind. Okay it'll continue there then, and in greater detail. I hope all this sounds weird to you.

Because it isn't.

Yes you read that right.

And that clock over there? Its been still for the past fifteen minutes.





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