Intro: I've been unusually sleepy today, though I guess the nonsense exercise I did in the morning is partly to blame. This post is going to be very. Very. Long. So I've separated it into paragraphs, each with colour-coded headings (applause from audience). Where possible, I'll use more bullet points than long paragraphs (hearty laughter from audience).
LAST NIGHT THONG IRON MAN FASHION PROTEST FORGANIZATED PRAISES SKIN
How convenient, a phrase to remember it all! Last night, dressed in nothing but a thong/Iron Man wore a thong in the name of fashion, to protest the forganizated praises he had been hearing about his skin.
LAST NIGHT I spent a lot of time finetuning my com's skinz. You can read about that in the last Chapter (hahaha), SKIN. I was done for the night, it being - OH WAIT! I FORGOT! I went to the living room for awhile, cos I was waiting for the com to load something. THEN, I decided to eat! If you were paying attention, you'd noticed that at that point, I hadn't blogged.
So anyway about eating first. Digestives and milk. Cold. Haha. - I like Digestives - I don't really like them plain - I dip 'em in stuff - Milk or Milo - Optimal dipping time is such that the biscuit begins to sink. This can be observed if you chuck the whole damn thing into a container of sufficient size, wherein your Soak of choice rests. It is at this point that the biscuit is soft enough to break off and sorta crumble, without you biting too hard. Any softer and I'd feel like some geezer.
I ate, I was no longer Hungary, I went back to the computer and decided to blog. It being the first time in a long time I blogged unhungry. - Computer started lagging - Hung on me I was this close to getting medieval wit' it, but I realized computers don't feel no paiiin. So I held back, bit my lip, then decided to shut the damn thing off. And I went to bed, and promptly fell asleep. Knocked out.
And just so you know, I had a slice of bread with approx. 83 grams of tuna flakes in olive oil, at around 1130pm.
THONG Not skimpy wear, but 'song' when you have no teeth/an ulcer/a lisp. I'm posting the link again cos I don't think it worked the last time, I really can't figure out why.
I've decided I'm gonna leave it as it is. So that's the final cut of it.
IRON MAN (!!!) Every time I say/think of Iron Man my heart stops beating awhile my head spins I lose sensation in my limbs and I go limp. I wish I could properly describe to you how I feel about Iron Man *half-faints* but once again I'm faced with the deeply unsettling mental grind of converting the ineffable to a comprehensible formation of letters. That's the irony, its ineffable, yet it has to be effed.
I think it could go on for paragraphs, but I feel this truncated version should give you a remote idea of my sentiments: IT. IS. EFFING. EFFING. EFFINGGGG. COOOOOLLLL!!!! AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I kinda considered comparing it to something else, something more, um, intimate. But I have better sense than that, HUZZAH!
MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE TRAILER! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Iron Man and War Machine stand kinda back to back, masks up. Lotsa mean robots around them. They coolly survey the scene. Then CHINK CHINK their masks close in rapid succession AND I FRICKING GO INTO CONVULSIONS AND ITS LIKE I'M IN HEAVEN BUT I KNOW I'M NOT BUT ITS SO AWFULLY GOOD MY HEART'S OUT OF CONTROL I'M A LITTLE BOY ONCE MORE THIS WAS EVERYTHING COOL IN LESS THAN A SECOND I think I jizzed. In. Mahpants. Hahahahha sorry couldn't resist.
If you want 2 minutes of bliss, click here. That's the official trailer on YouTube. My blog is wholly unworthy to act as a surrogate source for something so divine, shining, so purely magnificent and opulent and gilded and exalted and I could go on. Iron Man 2. I can hardly wait. I now have a reason to live. Haaahahaha.
FASHION I cannot CANNOT wait for the day when I finally draw a good salary and have enough to totally support myself and my family. That will be when I go out and get all the things I think I should have, that I should wear. I'm so damn particular about looking sharp, but I'm kinda holding back. While it may be within my means to get all that I want now, I can't help but feel a twang of guilt. Tired to elaborate, so let's just wait till I make about 40k. A day. Ameen! Since we're all in such a holy mood now, I pray that all of you see success in life, achieve your ambitions, and are led along a blessed path. Ameen. If you're my friend then you should know that I love you a lot.
Right, fashion. I was looking through some sites, some whatevers, then did some (highly amateurish) sketches of my own, and I realized that its kinda easy (not easy like one plus one is two, but like running for fifteen minutes). Its kinda fixed, I guess, what guys can wear. That's why designers started crossing over to the ladies' side. A lot of that is actually quite cool, but when you see guys walking around with a piece of their translucent curtain ripped and draped over their tank-top clad bodies, you start to wonder...
Only then did I realize why so many guys design for ladies (the first person I think of is Nabil who is fking talented, and cool beyond description. I think I should head over there and post that now. Read PRAISES for an explanation), because with the women, the possibilities are endless! The human body is amazing, but the female body is a work of art. A naked man is nice to stare at if he's at least fit, and has a cloth draped across his groin. A naked woman is artistic no matter how plump she is (think art from ancient Rome. Ain't no anorexic things there).
Most minds are biased towards curves. Which is why Mac OS is a hell lot sexier than Windows. But ANYWAY. With women there are so many frickin' possibilities that its one helluva challenge. So it takes lotsa skill to produce and physically create something that turns heads, or at least looks good. Aaand you can create so many wonderful looking images and concepts that would otherwise be super difficult/impossible to pull of on a man's body. Like the dress Joanne Peh wore to the whatever awards. I chanced upon the photo at the back of the newspaper, and the dress was really nice. From an aesthetic perspective, all halalness out of the equation.
PROTEST My Gillette Fusion Power shaver has FIVE. FRICKING. BLADES. And one small one at the back. I'm starting to feel really ridiculous using this damn thing, however comfortable it might be. I came across a website detailing the battle between Gillette and Schick, and how they upped the number of blades just to show who's more badass. If a six-bladed shaver comes out, I'll switchover to a kitchen knife.
So anyway I'm kinda protesting silently against my... inanimate shaver. I've got a distant semblance of a goatee now. Sample:
And so in protest, I won't shave it. Then it'll start to annoy me and I'll hack it all off.
FORGANIZATED No more nude photos on my blog. Nor my wordpress nor tumblr nor anywhere else. Hahahahh well I don't exactly appear nude in the photos, just shirtles, but (I've said this before, I remember) in H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds he described himself as 'naked' - cos he didn't have a shirt on.
- There are a heck lot of daaaamn good bodies out there everywhere for you to look at - Mine isn't that impressive, I should stop acting like everyone wants to see it - I think I'm maturing cos I look back now and go... eww? - I guess it might come across as showing off. I hate showing off.
So anyway my tumblr will be left for whatever random shit happens, whilst my wordpress will be my obscure literary asylum. Where I post linguistic works, and where I rant. You won't like the rants. In fact, you might just wanna keep away from my WP. Did that have a reverse-psychology effect? Cos I wasn't intending to reverse anyone psycho.
PRAISES When I have good things to say about people, I'll just bloody say it. Why hold back? I like it when people say nice things to me, and since I figured I can be nice without risking a violent biological reaction, I'll be nice.
SKIN - My super nearly completed album art collection. I'm hardworking. - I got this app that hides the icons of programs on the taskbar. Supposed to make things cleaner and whatnot, but I think I'll undo it. - The yucky yellow folder is now the suave black Folder - Other icons shanged - Tre Fratelli is the name of our iPoop aka iTouch u& uTouch me back. Ok eww. God knows why its listed as a camera... stupid machines. - Top right: and app called CDArt display. Its sexy, and allows me to control iTunes with the keyboard, even when iTunes runs in the background. - My computer is sexayyy. Er. By the day. Sexayyyer by the day.
Dear Blogger, please increase the size for your Create A Post thing. Its too small and crampy and I'm claustrophobic. Kthxbye.
Outro: I know I said I had a tuna sandwich... but I'm hungry again. I don't even eat a lot!! I'm speechless. Its a spellll of sorts that I'm under. Blogging = okay. Nearing end of blogpost = hungry. DigestivesandmilkhereIcome!!!
Time check: 2:37 AM Reality check: ITS FKING LATE Use less salt in your cooking and if you're eating out, DEMAND that they use only the bare minimum. Better still, ask for no salt, then season your food with your own sweat. Its organic, healthy, and completely sensible. STAY SHARP, yall.
I REALIZED. HOW FRICKIN' DUMB IT IS. TO LINK YOU TO MY PUREVOLUME DASHBOARD. I just realized you're not be so you won't be able to log in and listen. I have a new link for you.
edit: the songs might not play from there, I don't know why, I'm frustrated. THIS LINK should do the trick.
Hahaha. Sometimes I wish I could do that for people. But then something comes up and I forget about it HAHA.
I really love my NA class. They're the funnest and best-student buncha people I've met. And I'm so surprised why they hold back so much. ALL of them are so mature and think so differently from so many people I've met; where the heck did things change for them? Its not that I want to 'save' them. There's nothing to 'save' them from. I just want to make sure they know how bloody cool I think they are, and how I think we need more people like them in the world, I'm not kidding. It'd be a much funner and better place like that.
I don't care if my family is full of weird characters, empty promises, things I disagree with, impatience, traces of weakness, whatever. They're my Goddamn family and I love them, and I'd rather have my family this way than not at all. Because I realized for everything I tend to gripe about, there's another 5 that I love and wouldn't want to change in you. I'm still growing up, forgive me my phase.
It'd be fitting, I think, if midway through that paragraph the whole room fell silent, you only hear yourself reading my post. Then you hear my voice quiver and falter, and I hold back a burst of hot tears. Then I give in to its overwhelming rush,a and break down. Then you only hear me weeping silently.
It'd be fitting, I think, but that couldn't get further from the truth. I ran out of Quiver. Hahaha. I like pretending to cry btw.
I just had too much wrong hour sleep, Wrong Place Wrong Hours kinda sleep. I'm still feeling slightly incoherent, I think my neck's protesting a bit, and HEY! I'm not hungry. Dear reader, I hope you know that at least one person in this world holds on to your existence like its everything. You're that important to at least one person. And for the record, you're important to me; because your continued readership feeds my illusion of being damn popular hahahahahhahaha. K no la not like that. Owch my eyes. I like that. Owch. Compared to Ouch.
Take good care of your sharpness so that getting smarter can be a healthy process.
My cover of I'm Yours, everything's vocal, recorded on Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5 with some stupid mic I found here at home, you might hear the TV in the background hahahah.
Holy crap its nearly MAY. And we all know thaaaatt
MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU
is a MAGICAL date. Enough shenanigans. On to serious stuff.
I was performing an undisclosed exercise, and upon completion Mak said 'Great!'. I was like 'Huh?' then Mak said 'Your exercise. That was good, you're strong lah.'
You have no idea how high I levitated before I realized levitation wasn't supposed to be possible, then I was left with nothing but happiness. So later on I told her how much that meant to me. I'm gonna keep telling people all these kinda things, cos its things they should know. If they made me happy, I'd want them to be able to have a taste of it. And if I don't tell, I might never get the chance again.
Then there's this one thing I find so strange yet amazing: being happy for someone else. Does it even make sense, to be so happy when someone else has gotten something, and you're the same as before? That someone got into somewhere or won something or something, you're still living the same life you lived yesterday and like two weeks ago; yet you're so happy like something's changed in your life.
I find that so odd! And its such a cool thing, too. This intangible thing, happiness, is so wunderful! In the words of a famous and important person 'It's contagious too, so the spillover effect is tremendous and the possibilities are endless!'. That rhymed, by the way.
I'll leave that at that for now, because I want to think on it on the psychological level. Ironic, because I believe firmly that the Mind cannot be broken up and classified, like its a whole glob of shtuff. Our terms and frameworks are very much shapeless and shaky, with so much room for doubt and challenge. Its like asking 'what is big?'. Its so perspecticle (I just coined that word. It sounds a lot like... spectacle.) I think, with no one being able to even establish general guidelines. I will think about this.
In the meantime, I've got one New Song up, its the Star Wars thang. Just a bit of it, I couldn't resist, and I couldn't get close to the awesomeness of Moosebutter; at least I attempted! You can find. The. Songs.
The other day I drank a hell lotta water; and in the end I pissed so much like nobody's pissness. I just thought you should know, well be- it's kind of a- like, umm, th- ok we'll, uh, just forget that uh, ever... happened. *ahem*
The next time someone helps you, don't think about paying him back. Pay It Forward! Then we can keep the Niceness going and going and oh, it'll be luvvly! Stay sharp people, aliens'r comin'. We gotta look presentable, now. And, uh, really. I'm hungry. #$%&!
Its one in the morning, I'm the only one up, and its yesterday that I realized my blogposts don't show the time. The significance of it all: my speakers have made that weird static-buzzing sound, caused by interference. Except there's no incoming calls, messages, or people nearby doing anything like that.
There is only
Ok shit I was about to type something involving the supernatural but given my present situation, I think its best I shut the hell up and move on to unscary things. I'm not afraid, I'm not a coward, not a pansy; I just play it safe sometimes haha. NEXT.
The other day I had fun with my mum's eyeliner. I've played with it before, drew my eyes and tried to step goth, but this time it was different. I traced all the visible veins on my left hand, check it out! Check the photos out! It! Them! Whatever!
I like how the two photos seem so opposite. Black white white black.
This is totally a Na'vi shot! You know. Blue folk from Avatar, Omaticayan, jungleheads, treehuggers, tall asses, funkay hair, loincloths, glow in the dark.
Fahim wanted 'anything ah'. This is the best of my ability to recreate his underlying boneform, plus weird stuff and a spiderweb because it was tiring. Did I mention how much I admire tattoo artists? Their work is the shit. If only I could get tatts, I'd get them all over my... leather bag hahahaha. Hey that's an idea! Nah I won't want tatts either way, they're too permanent. And I wanna see all my muscles and veins thank you very much. (I'm so full of myself, how come I even get hungry?)
I was supposed to mark all the papers today, but my other obligations took more time than I expected, and I sat down, for the first time in some time, to watch TV. Tomorrow. I hereby declare that on Wednesday I will start and finish marking all the papers I have with me. The End.
You must always end declarations with a The End. I did a song. No a coupla songs, I'm Yours (isn't that so old) and that Star Wars song I linked. First song cos its easy to harmonize too, second cos it seemed so cool to me. I wrote half a song, gots the tune, but don't play the guitar and needa write an opening. Maybe I can make-do with the electone, I'm not sure.
I can't believe I'm saying this again... but I'm hungry, I swear. Considering how much I think I eat, you'd think I'd put on weight! I thought so too, and I have always hoped for that (somehow I wanna be heavier. Its so manly to me.), but no! I've been getting leaner, and stronger I suppose. I realized I'm not big; you see me out on the streets and you'd probably consider getting into a fight with me just cos you CAN. I'm not bulky, and I guess you'd only go 'Oh, so you kinda workout?' when I take my shirt off. But for some reason I've always been 65-66.6 kg. Well actually 67.1 was the heaviest I got, some of it was from water, but 66.6 is such a cool weight. Riiiiiight?
I'll stop here. Avocados are good for you. Antioxidant shmammy jammy action-package or whatever. I don't know 'bout you, but I haven't acquired the taste for 'em. In any case, they're good for you. And stay away from refined sugar. Don't read Mind Your Body cos its a casket full of shit, I'll elaborate some time soon. And its been awhile since I've said this... Stay safe, be sharp and get smarter.
Well anyways I was watching Singapore Talking, and boy did someone keep going off topic with all his 'feeder bus' and 'public transport' talk. I considered calling in, but with that geezer around? Nah I didn't wanna have anything to do with what was going on on TV. Which was why I started making fun of them all and not-pay attention. The crackpot in the blue shirt? You know, the fella who owns a car but 'hate driving in the congested roads. I hate to find the parking lot'. Yeah that Genius. After making a stupid semi-point he gives a stupid face. Squashes everything together and flattens his mouth in a failed attempt at a wide grin; I could almost hear him go 'Hnggggg'. Ask me and I'd re-enact for you.
What I would've said anyways was, that if Lynn could 'wait for the right time' to buy a car, it just means she can WAIT. And if you can WAIT it means you don't NEED IT, so don't fucking talk so much and just NOT buy a car. Also, I think this whole car issue has got to do with the Singaporean Lifestyle. Its rush here rush there let's all get on the train and stand near the doors cos I don't wanna miss a thing. Even when I dream of you the sweetest dream will never do, cos I'm in the train baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing. Btw this is for all you morons out there:
You get the picture; its all this hushy rushy thang that's got us (except me) worked up (yet insufficiently worked out) and wanting to get somewhere quickly. Just pop a coupla chill pills and relaxxxxx. Take it slow and easy, don't be going about things like you're gonna die or something. Cos if you are, then you really ought not to be trying to get on a train. Araknow but personally, if I knew I was gonna die, I'd wanna do holy stuff and whatever. Commutation would be lost somewhere at the bottom of my list.
Anyway I'd like to share some videos I enjoyed; in my usual fashion I'd go ahead and embed the thangs but somehow I feel I'm not up to the task now. No, not today. So instead I'll serve you up with This and Thiss and Thisss.
This: Moosebutter's version of John William's Star Wars theme. Thiss: A whole damn CHOIR singing that song. Thisss: This one guy's cover of a Flight of the Conchord's songs. Attention to lyrics please.
Its funny that after almost 20 years in my body I'm still not accustomed to it. Sometimes my throat hurts when I talk, and my blocked ears can get pretty darned irritating especially when I sing. Cos then everytime I hit certain notes the sound just reverberates in my whole damn head and it sucks. Its been a super long time since my nasal passages have been clear. Like whoosh clear you know, blow air in one nostril and my brains will come out the other.
But I'm thinking, if its all me, its mine, then surely I can control it in some way. People can meditate to slow or even stop their hearts for awhile, cancel away pain and whatever. I guess this implies that my 'problems' can be Willed away? I'll only find out after 26.5 days of Willing, cos you know, that's standard Will principles. "The mentalifyingness of it all is a true cycle." Yes yes we've all heard that line a million times, come on there must be something else you fellas could tell us!
I totally agree with you then when you suggest we port the tachyon boosters, because they really get in the way of multiplanes. I mean isn't it pretty obvious by now that interstellar travel is only secondary to quantic fross? Sheesh, Diplomaticas. I expected Moar. Hah that was a brilliant pun, no?
Lol I wish I could write like that about real life stuff. Hah yeah stop scratching your head/huh-hing/wo'eva. And just for kicks, here's my current FB profile pic. Did yall notice the amateur editing hahaha. Is it familiar? Yes it is, to me.
I'm up to my nonsense again but thank God for Tumblr. Now I can get my fix and you can stay alive. Before I go, congratulations to all my Man Friends (HAHAHAHAH too tempting to resist typing it that way) who're where they want to be in NS. But wherever you are, its undeniable that I have more respect for you now. The shit you've been through while I've been living a heck of a good life? Now that's something. This whole NS thing really makes you grow.
Growing. That's one thing I like. And a quick one: I think its at this point in our lives where our friends really change the most and people go out and be the people they're probably gonna be for the rest of their lives. You make more friends, everyone knows about ninja company, once jerks are probably less jerks or even nice people, some of 'em are going cool places, and you think about some people in a different way, realize someone's talents, find out someone did something hella cool, maybe even see people where you'd least expect them. Public toilet 2nd last cubicle. Hahahahhahahahaha where'd THAT come from.
I wanted to talk about my first run in 8109384203 gajillion millin million years but I think the post's long enough. I'm hungry. Why the HECK does it always have to end like this...
Use a moisturizer for your face and never underestimate the power offff SUNBLOCK. Neutrogena Moisture has both! Get it now for onl- right you get it. If you're still alive then LIVE IT UP!
That's how my desktop looks now, after spending hours tweaking it last night. Sleeping at 430? Kinda totally worthit. You can't deny its (desktop) at least a liiiiitle bit sexay.
So what did I do?
Backed up my data, created a system restore point, then downloaded the uxtheme.dll patcher. Patching took a few seconds, then I was off to look for themes. Settled on this cos it wasn't as micro as everything else; mine eyes suffered a great deal with the 'compactness' and overly ambitious slim-concepts of other themes. It looks so hypocritical and what, pirated? The mac logo and all, but I don't give a shit yet. I'm gonna try tweaking this theme itself, see if I can get a cooler start button, and less mac-ness. Macs are nice, sure, but I'm not running a mac.
I'm now a whopping 2.5 metres tall, I weigh 66 kg and I'm stronger and leaner. In a crowded train, I need only flex my triceps and people are pushed aside, giving me space to walk out. At a restaurant I only need tighten my quads before the nearest waiter senses I'm ready to order. At home while I eat, I wash the dishes concurrently for every time I lift the spoon to my mouth. I don't need backpacks because I have my back. I go hunting with only my traps. And when I wanna get out of my clothes, I need only bounce my pecs.
Hahahahha that was fun. That's all for now, get enough fruit and veggies everyday and remember to cut your nails. Its a waste when you dress up and look good, but have nailz like a lycanthrope.
It is with great pride I now share this link. Upon clicking it you will be taken to my PureVolume page where you'll be able to subject yourself to some of my singing. In all honesty I start each song with the thought that I wanna give it my best. Sometimes mid-song I falter, and to make it look like I'm actually not thaaat bad I may end up joking.
I also joke because that's how I like it. Hahah ok in short I did do the best I could that day, and I need more practice and whatnot so I can stay in pitch and whatever. The link:
There should be six new tracks, out of a total of 8. Comments appreciated, and I'm gonna do more more more cos More's the Core.
And the line of the day: I was hiding under your porch cos I love you.
HAH. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. Its ok when a dog says it though.
I wanted to make a list of 'I can't stand's then I thought to myself: You know what? That's SO negative! Like, how do I put it, completely NOT positive! HEY, you know what. Let's make a list of 'I can stand's, that'd be SO positive! Yeah, let's! Hey, you agree? Hmm? Oh yeah, that's a good idea! Everyone else on? #Yeah!# Alright guys let's DO this!
Since all of me agreed, here it is: I CAN STAND WHEN: People beside me eat quietly People tell me I can do things People smile You give way to someone You keep quiet because you haven't got anything good to say People say thanks Big guys workout like mad but don't show any ego Skinny people workout like mad but don't show any ego Normal people workout like mad but don't show any ego Fat people workout like mad but don't show any ego People smell good You're not afraid to be yourself You're not afraid appreciate someone for being himself You're not afraid of me You're afraid of me You're afraid of me, but in the healthy sense You put effort into the way you dress People don't make fun of fat people Skinny people know it isn't sexy to be too skinny Normal people don't laugh at everyone else Big people help the small people You don't wear Crocs (HAHAH. Sorry just couldn't resist) You don't try to Step in public You encourage You comfort You make people feel worthy You give me my space You trust me You let me trust you You let them trust us You let her trust him You let us trust her You we trust to them us is was
And most of all, I can really stand it when every inch of you says: 'I'm beautiful and I know it, and you're beautiful too.'
You MUST have seen these people around. They just give out this good vibe that makes you wanna look at them, hang around them, not because you're a perv, but because they are Attractive People. These are the people who go on to be big in this world, because when you see them you know they have the capacity to hold themselves up, up there where everyone can see. And they also have within them the ability to reach out to you, wherever you are, and make you feel like you really matter. This is who you should tell yourself to be, everyday, even if you already are. At every moment my life I want to make sure I'm worthy of what I have, and striving for what I need.
And next time, I'll talk about how people walk and what that tells about them. I don't think I'm done with this whole beauty business though, I'll revisit it sometime. In the meantime, take care and don't hunch. Stomach in chest out head held high but don't have to stick your damn butt out like its some invitation. Its not. AND! S t r e t c h.
'Tis what? Oh, a post! OH! A POST! I'm baaaaack. Betcha missed me! Hmm? Oh you- I don't think you heard my questi- oh... so, um... no? Not even a teeny tiny bit? I- I see, uh, well, *ahem* now that's, uh, you know... But really? Lik- yeah I was about to talk about something else anyway so its cool.
'Tis was a most eventful week. I did not complete everything I set out to do though, yet to run the 2.4, finish the story and get new speakers. The lattest is understandable, such things take time cannot be rushed needa look around for My Perfect Speakers.
'Tis was a most wonderful week, I found so much more time than I thought existed. I realized, when I'm sitting around, I tend to go Tech to fill the void. Turn the computer on, thinking I might get something done, play the iPoop, wo'eva. But consciously avoiding these things! Now that was fun and interesting and like an early semi-Ramadhan. Its there but no touchy. Other people might be eating (I choose to think of it as post-Ramadhan period, the Puasa Enam Marathon) but you gotta noteat.
'Tis a fact every sentence has started with 'tis and I'll keep it up whether it makes sense or not. Alas I couldn't stay completely tech-free, with things to attend to and such. I considered ignoring the Sultan of Brunei's call but he's been such a wonderful friend, I couldn't just leave the phone to ring. Turns out he really needed to know something, so the short call was wervvit after all.
'Tis was interesting how I could still manage to SLEEP LATE a few times, it being Sleep Early Week. I gotta work on that. Now would be a good time to start but ohh come onnn I'm in the middle of a post. It. Cereal. Not.
'Tis was 'tis 'time 'tat I gotted the times to thinks abouts things. And the age-old Family Thang came up again. On Saturday I gymmed with Shifu Zul. After eating and praying it was approaching 8. And on the train home I was called from home (haha) to join my family at Pastamania cos sooomebody felt like having Pastamania for Pastadinner. So I was all Good Family Guy Of Course I'll Join You Even Though I'm Full and eventually looked forward to it. Eventually = 10 mins.
'Tis but when we finally sat down everyone started to show their irritating behaviour; I did my best to be patient and it helped that I was really tired, and that at least Fahim was behaving rather normally (yeah WOW. Maybe cos he wanted to go there in the first place, so why be a pain in the arse?). Every now and then someone had to do something really annoying and I'd have a hard time figuring out how to react appropriately.
'Tis was a good night anyway, overall, especially the parts where everyone was really EATING and not doing something while eating. Like talking or whatnot. Come to think of it we're not really the eating kinda family. Food is food, we don't go all out to MAKAN (gosh I hate that word now, how everyone says it even if its the ONLY. FRIGGING. MALAY WORD they know. FUCK YOU AND YOUR MAKANS) so often, and are quite easily satisfied. Once in awhile someone might crave something but the person will not go crazy. Anyway. (and one last time. Fuck all you people who only know how to eat eat eat eateat EAT. If that's your priority in life, if that's all you can be proud of, your huge belly and your stupid mouth and all the food you've eaten, and your lack of etiquette, then, really, with all my heart... fuck. you. Hahahhahahah that felt so awsm. Oops. Am I allowed to use the a-word? What happened to the season pass, how much is that?)
'TIS anyways, I started thinking about my family again. YES. I. LOVE. THEM. Nobody can deny that, especially me, since I know Fawaz inside-out more than he would like me to know, and more. Buuuuut then! There's always a butt, see. Buttsy. Butt to see.
'TIS ANYWAY! If I'm annoyed, it means I'm processing things the wrong way. People can give anything they want, that's external and you can't control it. A man can punch me and I can either take it and bleed and cry or I can get all Aikido and use his force to hurt himself OR. I can just avoid it and still stand there smiling. Same with the people at home. It dawned on me like a SLAP! from Beyond, and I almost ouch-ed. Its my fault when I get unhappy, its my fault I sometimes hate them so much. Its all because I'm taking things the wrong way. So that's where I gotta learn to manage the incoming bullshit, when it happens.
'Tis also a second point. They're family, we're related, I'm a genetic-inheritance vessel. What nonsense they possess I either possess in similar amounts, smaller amounts, or have suppressed. Which means I'm as capable as being as Merepek as them. Which ALSO means if I can't stop the rubbish within me, I can stop it within them. It just takes time, and we all know with time people grow up, and into the environment. As long as I take control of all the controllable aspects of our life, I can very much control how my family turns out in the long run. If I keep pissin' and moaning about this and that, they might not know, but they'll slowly feel it. Cos your thoughts are not as unfeelable as you think, and they got them Mind Vibes that be spillin' and can cause some serious trippin'.
'Tis so as long as I keep myself in check and set the 'good' example, things will eventually fall into place. They will grow out of their weaknesses, and we'll smooth out the rough edges and one day, fit perfectly well with each other's characters. Of course things don't always go as planned, but you gotta have faith man, Faith is Fun, and whatever happens, I would always prefer to know I did my best than wonder what would've happened if I had been a better person. This isn't self-blame, maybe not so much taking all the responsibility upon my shoulders and my shoulders only; rather it is doing what I'm capable of and what I can and should since everyone else doesn't seem to wanna do it. If I'm gonna rule the world I gotta start here. Hah.
'Tis also a sheesh-ing realization that people are still afraid for me. I'm growing up and looking forward to growing more, I'm very confident I can take care of myself and I'm mature enough to not get my ass whooped/screw up big time/be left groping in the dark, moist with long-time flowing tears of despair and loneliness. Soon I'll be in the Civil Defence, and people are already behaving like their 5-yr old is going on his first school camp, where he'll spend two whopping nights in school. What have I got to say about that? What the fuck have I got to say about that? This: Thanks for loving me so much, for who I am, and despite all that I am.
'Tis only been one lesson and already I'm freaked out. Firstly lemme say I love my students already, they're an incredible bunch, and I'm gonna do all that I can to make sure you get all that you can get from me. The freaky part is how Every. Single. One. Of them. Reminds me of someone. I'm not kidding. A lot of them LOOK so familiar, and that's strange enough. I cannot begin to describe the feeling that crept through me as the lessone proceeded. The wtf?! Its like I know you from somewhere, but I'm not sure I was there to begin with! I'm not joking, I'm really not, and the more I think of it the more I want to stop thinking about it because its so frustrating and weird and wow, I don't know. Just stop.
'Tis for the record that I tell you know how Tech-Free Week ended sliiiightly prematurely but only temporarily. Hahahah a short-term ending. I walked into the masterbedroom, the TV was on. Oh wait:
Note to self: if its a Thursday night and Bapak hollers at me in an urgent voice, from his room, to 'faster come here', its cos there's an Indian abomination of a Western icon of evil, a horror story unintentionally turned comedy. Farce. Shit. On TV, and its totally worth the sprint. Wtf man Indians, come on lah, why're yall so Goddamned LAME. WHOA WHOA WHOA hold your horses I'M INDIAN so I'll continue. I'll make a list of your shit sometime soon. But credit where credit's due, Indians are effing geniuses. You'd know if you know me CEYYYYYYYY k cut it out Fawaz people are leaving. Oh someone threw up. Well done, Doctor Says-all-the-right-things.
'Tis being Tech-Free Week I usually ignore or innocently look then silently chastize myself when I realize the sin I'm committing. But then. The TV was on, and on the TV, was Hairspray. HAHAHHAHA on the TV, I like how that sentence turned out. Bloody Hairspray. So I didn't give a shit about no technology, and I sat down to watch. But awhile later I got hungry and after eating forgot all about Hairspray. So ends my uneventful eventful premature semi-termination of what would've been, should've been, and well yeah was, in fact, a heck of an as-close-to-primitive-without-being-too-uncomfortable-as-I-can-get week. No strike that, the reasons for going 'tech-free' were: 1) Screen-staring. Bad for you. 2) Alternative entertainment. 3) See how much time could be freed. 4) Check if I was addicted. 5) Remind myself I am, in no way, addicted. 6) See if I felt like an addict anyway. 7) Do something new because like faith, Change is FUN!
'Tis that said, next week will be No Bathing Week. Oh the freedom, I can already smell it! Mmmm, and taste it... salty? Cinnamonny too, with a dash of Savoury to line the Sweet.
'Tis a joke. The Next Week will only start next week, because, technically, this week has started, and I don't wanna start a Week when a week's already been started, and has been in progress for 2 hours and 39 minutes. That all made sense you know, please read it again I'm proud of it.
'Tis time to stop, methinks. Till next time, take care and get your Omega-6. Fish-oil pill every morning, start now you won't regret. Bin doin' it? Well done, you!
'Tis and as always, I'll be watching, with my eyes my ears and my mind, whether you like IT or not, where IT = Information Technology. I'm still watching BYE
This is how its gonna be like: -no coming online -no emails Facebook whatever -I'm only gonna play ZombieFarm once to harvest my crops and zombies before they wilt, and that's gonna take a whopping thirty seconds -television? nope. -music? Ahhhh. Shit. No. -and, no SMSing or calling any phones. The only exception is if someone really needs to contact me and so calls/SMSes. If you don't usually call me, I'm ignoring it, cos its probably something unimportant. If you won't die if I don't reply to your SMS, I won't reply. Cos you still won't die, so its win-win.
While I'm Tech Free and more free, I WILL accomplish these: -time my 2.4 cos I want that Gold. You hear me? I'm coming for you, beach. -paamp aaahyen aka workout by lifting heavy things etc. -finish all my books -finish two stories: about the murderer and the Iron Man thing -get all my mental dissertations out. Why, yes, I do like sounding smart! Hahahah. -Sleep. Early. This one's for sure. Everyday at ten I'll get ready for bed; day starts at 6:30 and I won't stop till I get enough -I'll work on being less annoying and irritating because sometimes I really say the stupidest things, with or without realizing how stupid it is. Stupid me. -set up my computer in all its jazziness, including getting new speakers
That's my modest list for now. Oh, and Will myself to get: TALLER LEANER MORE MUSCULAR SMARTER
I'm thinking the order in which I wrote that is fairly significant.
For a week I'll be disconnected from the world; I'm not like the centre of attention or anything but it'd be cool to see what its like for people to not actually be sure that I'm still alive (enter: GLaDOS accompanied by Jonathan Coulton. That's one of the things I'll be writing about this week, the whole connectedness thang.
I haven't forgotten that its also
Sleep Early Week II
and boy am I off to a rough start. No matter.
I'll leave you to your important lives now, while I do what I do and get stares from people. Sometimes more, but its all cool. And why's that so? Because... YOU'RE cool. Didn't expect that? Well you are, and get used to that. I might call you Stranger, you might be a stranger, but you. Are. Cool.
I'm all for positivism and all that shit, but sometimes I just gotta let off some steam, yaknow? And a part of me hesitates to write this because I imagine the occasional reader will be somewhat latched upon by this viral thing, or things rather, Despair, Sadness, Anger, whatever it is that leaves you feeling - off? Off, oy. In any case I've decided to get it all out, but I'm whiting the text. So if you wanna read then highlight, if not then good for you, the zero-contrast between font and background saves you exposure to nasty stuff. Saves? Saved? Is saving? Whatever.
How do I start... well for a long time now I've been not wanting to hang around the family when it comes to stepping out of our house. And 9 out of 10 times, I end up heaving my ass along, with or without a protest. Sometimes I end up having fun, but it always, always ends in a deep frustration. I just got to summarize it:
Look Darlings, I love you and all. I really do, and its such a deep and powerful love that I won't bother trying to express it in words. You gotta have felt it already, cos if you don't then I don't know what to say. But truth is, let's skip the Outings and Holidays and Hangouts, alright? They just don't work out. If you really need company, find it elsewhere. I'm downright convinced that, at the very least, OUR (to be fair I've included myself) character types just don't go. Not hard to understand, no?
Its a plain fact that everytime I got out with yall its full of stuff you DON'T wanna do when you go out, and I'm forced to say this: I can't stand the fact that we gotta eat stuff that's bad for our body, however little you might realize. I've told you I don't like it, I've made it clear that you shouldn't be shoving your mouths with all that crap, but, araknow, you's a bit thicks, methinks? Not that that's a bad thing, I mean come to think of it, its me who's telling you all this; I understand its hard to digest or take seriously anything that comes from me, especially when it goes against the grain of whatever's been nailed down in yer heads.
That disbelieve when I say I can lift a hundred kilos; the 'advice' that I shouldn't. The questions about my diet, the ignoring me when I try to tell you something you fucking NEED to know, DAMNIT. I could go on.
So listen, as far as being a son/brother/whatever else I am to you goes, I'll do my duties there's no questioning that. Like I've said, I LOVE yall to bits but in noooo part of my 'duties' or obligations am I explicitly asked to hang out with The Family. Read: It. Doesn't. Work. And I don't care if you've got 'better reasons' or whatever. Break the stupid links you've made and go out with YOUR friends; people like you fellas and wanna hang out with yall, so GO already.
Unless you effort a change from WITHIN, don't even think things will work out. I'm sick of the 'holidays', the 'outings', the whatevers. To be fair, sometimes things might be tolerable enough, so you get the go-ahead from me. But when I say no, and I usually say No, then suck it up and go on ahead without me. Yes, I've tried broaching the subject; nay, not this subject, but ones of smaller significance. Your capacity to take in what you DON'T like to hear is infuriatingly low. The sudden slowness of the speech, impatience maybe, or the false enthusiasm that drives me up the wall. I've tried talking about so many things, but how you react has always been... disappointing. Not even remotely close to how much I've disappointed you now, let's be clear.
But who am I kidding. You won't be reading this, you probably forgot the address of my blog, provided you know I have one. And I don't see myself speaking to you about this anytime in the near future. So since I'm still talking to myself here, let's forget it.
This- what, anger? Disappointment? - really gets me going, especially since I'm exerting so much control on myself now. Maintain breathing rhythm now, ok keep that heartrate normal. If anger's a beast that I've roped down that bitch and I'm sitting on its back laughing my heart out.
All that said, I don't think what I've written even approaches what it is I'm feeling. Ah your language, your fucking language. Couple that with my ineptness and slippery hold of linguistifying, and you get an easily misread, half-strung meaninged paragraph of semi-mismatched words that maybe, just maybe hint at what it is I'm trying to say.
Credit to you then, for untangling the mess and making the stuff out. If you do. Oh then I'm really thankful, you bridge my mind-things to your mind, if that makes sense? Well I suppose it does if you look at it from my point of view. Hah, circular.
About the word, THAT word, the four letter word. Fuck. Why fuck, why is it so. Why did they associate it with all that's vulgar and unclean. Think about it, fuck is the perfect exclamation. When you wanna express yourself strongly you need something explosive. 'uck' does just that, but saying 'uck' is like bathing yourself in soup when you're hungry. You might get some and you get a good whiff of what to expect, but it leaves you deeply unsatiated. That was so carelessly put together I'm in shame, but what the heck.
And 'F' is the best way to start. You can put so much force into it without looking like a fool. Try 'P' for a change. Pppppppppppppuck is just off. So you get what I'm saying.
When I say the F-word here (see its so hardwired I can't always get around it. COME ON SAY FUCK FOR FUCK'S SAKE) yes it is just that, for fuck's sake. Only cos it carries with it the desired degree of weight and Kapow! that ordinary (hah ordinary) words can't bag. Bag? I wanted to say carry, but does bag fit? We'll leave it.
That said I'm not about to go yelling the word when I feel the need; on a level completely separate from Logic, it just feels wrong. But here, when I don't know who YOU are, when you're not even sure who EYE am, everything's fine. I'm hungry.
Please take care, I heard a zombie apocalypse is approaching. I really really don't wanna fight with unhealthy people, let alone no people. Or worse... ZOMBIES! No sense in that. Again, just leave it. Just- yes, YES. Ha ha. Oh btw I finished I, Lucifer just awhile ago, 'twas good. No you don't 'have to go read it!'. Its pretty flavourful in terms of language, and Mr Duncan has no qualms about jumping back and forth between thoughts and sub-stories, so yeh miiiight wanna approach with caution. BUT an undeniably good read. Now for something concrete, like that Freud book on Wit. Its gonna be a good laugh, in a good way. Oh the unintentional puns and ill-chosen words. I should abandon this whole blogging thing till I learn to write properly, but what the heck. That's the fun of it.
Each day I realize what an idiot I was the previous day, but feel relieved that I'm no longer that idiot. What an interesting way to live each day, its utterly indescribable and strangely I like it. Have a great life, peepers.
I think my blog is so misrepresented on the Net. See what searches landed people here:
At times it gets depressing, but as they say, shut it up and move the heck on.
I started a habit that might leave you better off, in more ways you can think. The habit: One of my NutriFirst (For that burst, There's Nutrifirst!) shakers is always filled to the brim with good 'ol aitch two oh. My target is three bottles a day, no gulping no 'water parades' (hah you poor NS bastards. CD's all about water conservation, what will all the fires and shit we gotta handle) (yeah you handle shit with water, to wash it off, DUH) (not that we clean up shit. shit was used metaphorically) (Gosh I shouldn't have mentioned it in the first place...) So every now and then I get a mouthful of water, equivalent to about 100ml.
Why's it good?
You need to be constantly hydrated. Yada yada. If you do what I do, you ensure your body is constantly supplied with sky juice, without the hassle of going to get yourself a glass of water. Pssht, I KNOW RIGHT.
How else is it good? You said more ways than I can think!
Well you read right! See besides possibly causing YOU to start portablizing water, my routine is in fact benefiting you! Yes, YOU! See with all this water coming in at the right times, I'm making my health... well, healthier. And a healthier me is a better me, which means I can serve you better!
I KNOW RIGHT!!
It fits that my conclusion of this post is gonna be a desperate plea, a soulful cry originating from the depths of my being; one last lurch for safe ground while my mind is pulled forcefully down the perilous slopes of Doubt and The Unknown. Please, in the name of God, abandon all this anonimity! I NEED NAMES!!! The whole 'mystery identity' thing KILLS ME! If I was a vampire I'd say it burrrnnssssss ussssssss! but I'm NOT so I don't know what to say! YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND WHERE I'M COMING FROM!
Kinda what I feel on the inside. Less sad, more groping in the dark. And while I'm at it... maybe a tad more muscles. You know we- but I kin- ah ok nevermind. Oh and if my efforts go nowhere, its more of:
I didn't realize how good it could feel looking at pictures of crying babies. It is cos they look so adorable? Or that I can laugh at their suffering reduced to a silent still. I'm undecided on that one...
PLEASE! I know you might be laughing but I'm so. Not. Kidding. You don't want the death of an 8-year-old-genius-maybe-retarded-current/future best-friend-heckuva-nice-person's death to be on your hands now, do you?
Hahahhahahahah ok I think I took it far enough. Stay off your sugary treats long enough and soon you won't need 'em. Live it up people.
Its Sleep Early Week so this is gonna be short. I foresee a part 2 of sleeping early, and I'm looking forward to that. You know what! Let's up the ante. Next week, starting Monday, will be Sleep Early and Be Technology Free Week.
That means, no: Computer Handphone Television (I've so outgrown the TV anyway... hah) iPod aka iPoop which means no MUSIC. AH SHIT I think that's about it.
I really really really wanna go techless for a week, tech is such an intrusion at times. And unnecessary. So many things I can actually do without that I've forced upon myself, created a reliance of. That, ladies and gentlemen, is nawt good.
MY SPEAKERS DIED. Just died, no explosion fancy lights sound effects nuthin', just DIED. 2 reactions.
1- F*@#?!?!?! 2- HELL YEAH
That means I can get new speakers, which is, again, both good and bad. I won't elaborate. You don't need to know. We're done here.
Almost.
I had half a headache setting up my dad's email on the other com, so I'll give you the distilled process. The only prerequisite is that you use Thunderbird, which isn't much to ask. In fact I'm literally asking you to do yourself a favour. Oh and this isn't a fresh setup, its if you want the same thing you had on an old com, on a new one.
1) On your old com: My Computer > Tools > Folder Options > View tab > Check: Show hidden files and folders > Ok Now go to your main drive, usually C C: > Documents and Settings > 'username' > i.e. the name of the current user profile that you're logged in as Application Data > Thunderbird > Profiles
Inside the folder 'profiles' there's one folder whose name is randomshit.default, where 'random shit' is an assortment of random characters and numbers. Open that folder, and copy everything inside it. To a thumbdrive or whatever.
Go to your new com, install Thunderbird. When they ask you to setup an email account, cancel it. Make sure Thunderbird is closed. To check, invoke (I love this word invoke. Invoke. Invoke. Ahhh... I.N.V.O.K.E.) the task manager: Ctrl + Alt + Del Click the Processes tab, look for thunderbird. Ain't there? Good. Is there? Click End Process.
You're still on the new com. Take a deep breath, this is crucial. So are the next few steps. Mess 'em up and your com's gone forever. No pressure.
Use your fantabulous memory to bring yourself to the Thunderbird > Profiles folder. In here the shit.default file is of a different name. We don't worry about that. Instead, open that folder, and chuck everything you saved on your thumbdrive, innit. A message will appear asking you if you really wanna replace this and that, just click 'Yes to All' aka 'Yes wtf I know what I'm doing stop bugging me'.
Aaaaaand yer done. Invoke Thunderbird, and voila! It'd be like staring at your other com, only its not! Btw, I should've mentioned earlier, everything outlined only works on XP/2000. If you're running Vista then the stuff is stored somewhere else. Google's your new best friend. *sniff* I'm sorry, I would've - *sniff* but you knowwww, how it- what?! HUH? I WASN'T YUOR BEST FRIEND TO BEGIN WITH? NOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOoooooOOOOOooOOOO Boundaries.
edit: forgot to creditehow.com, the site that I learnt thetechnique from.
Now, some Active Positivism. I don't have a sore throat, my voice is just rough and cool. I don't have a flu, I just drank too much water. I don't have a fever, I'm just HAWT. I don't have ulcers on my lips, they're just natural marks of Hardcoreness. And no, I'm not sick.
No I'm not sick, I'm just sexy.
About lips: if you want 'em plump and juicy and kissable, try this. Smack 'em around, pinch 'em hard, put them in a book and close hard, flick them, and finally ask someone for a good one-two. Now your lips are beautifully puffy, tender and lush, anyone would wanna kiss 'em. Don't forget your mask!
And btw, I'm convinced this whole new diet thing's working out (HAH PUN) and working well. I've definitely grown taller. I'm a whopping 1.8m now, and by next Sat I should be around 1.9 ++. Haven't taken measurements but reflectionwise it seems I've put on some muscle, though my weight has only increased by 2kg max. Increased vascularity ttM, I've got veins everywhere it'd be so easy to cut and let me bleed ta death. And I'm prettttty sure I'm leaner now. Check out the G.L.A.D thang if YOU wanna see a CHANGE in YOUR life. I know it says Bodybuilder's diet, but really, its for anyone. You just gotta not take the protein shakes and hey presto.
And, thank God, I haven't any photos to murder you with. Either way, from now to infinity all obscene/nude photos will be on my tumblr instead. Head on there if you're a right pervert or a guy who likes to stare at other guys' bodies WITHOUT getting turned on.
Anyway, anyway's a scary word. Hah. Hahahahhaha. Hmm, yeah, think about it.
I just matched the name with the face, and it all makes sense: DJ Tiesto is one badass.
Just look at that badass-ness! Holding his right ear with his left hand. Wicked sick.
And badass silverishy eyes. Kinda looks like Jean Claude Van Damme. All the more badass.
I've said it before, but the awesomeness of it cannot be contained. So I have to say it again. Question: Hey Fawaz, when do you enlist? Answer: May the Fourth be with you.
From the book I, Lucifer, my favourite line thus far:
Up until then I'd spent all that time (and this is still Old Time, remember), all my time, in fact, sailing around Heaven telling Him what a wonderful guy He was for allowing me the privilege of sailing around Heaven telling Him what a wonderful guy He was.
I finally found the link. Read this shit till your eyes explode. THANKS RONALD. McDonald. Haaaaahahhahahaha.
This song just connects with me on so many levels. Everything about it is right; its not The Perfect Song, mind you, it just rocks me in totality. Strange, she ain't dancin' in the vid.
I'M SUPPOSED TO SLEEP EARLY EVERYDAY THIS WEEK ARGH.
Sometimes its good to not wash your hair for a day or two, to let the natural oils work their mojo. Likewise, don't over-shampoo or condition or whatever the heck you like to do to your head. Just. Listen. GO GET A GLASS OF WATER NOW. Hah. Haaahhahahahhaha.
And so in protest, I won't shave it. Then it'll start to annoy me and I'll hack it all off.
